When loss, grief, hardships, or tragedy hit our own lives, most of us are ill-prepared to deal with it.
Davey Blackburn experienced an unbelievable tragedy when he came home to find his pregnant wife had been shot during a home invasion. She would pass away just 24 hours later, leading him on a journey of learning to process the loss and grief he felt at the sudden loss.
While Davey’s story isn’t directly about foster care or adoption, it is about a topic that I think affects many of us in the foster care community. This is the question of what we do with pain and how we handle traumatic events.
In this conversation, you’ll hear Davey’s story, truths he has learned about the healing process, where many of us need to shift our view of God, and much more. I hope this episode is as meaningful to you as it has been to me.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/davey-blackburn-175/
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TW: There are brief mentions in this episode of abuse, self-harm, and suicide, which we wanted you to be aware of before listening.
There are some episodes of the podcast that simply pack so much wisdom into a short conversation. This is one of those episodes.
Children enter foster care for many different reasons. And despite some of the hard work we do to overcome and heal from the past, our stories can still be messy. My guest knows this all too well!
Kristen Thomas entered into kinship care after suffering abuse, but experienced deep-rooted challenges when she felt misunderstood, unsupported, and became homeless after aging out of care. As an adult, Kristen has taken the time to move towards healing those parts of her past. Today, she is going to grad school for Counseling and is an adoptive parent to her daughter, with only a 10-year age difference between them.
Kristen is very well-spoken and I greatly appreciated her coming onto the show. I know you will be encouraged by her story!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/kristen-thomas-174/
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Welcome back to The Forgotten Podcast! In this episode, I have the opportunity to talk with Shyann Skelton. Shyann came from a broken home where she did not know her biological father. After her mother’s death, she was adopted by her grandmother, but experienced deep pain through loss, bullying, and hardships as she was rejected by family for being biracial.
Shyann’s story begins with odds that were stacked against her, but she has taken those experiences and used them for good! As an adult, Shyann is a foster mom to teen girls and soon will be working with a nonprofit whose goal is to fill the gap while children are waiting for foster homes.
Thank you for listening to her story!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/shyann-skelton-173/
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We love bringing you stories from the foster care community as a way to encourage and equip you in your foster care journey. I’m excited to be able to share my conversation with not only a foster parent and adoptive parent, but the Executive Director of a non-profit whose mission is to help aging-out youth.
My guest is Nick Sgarlata. Nick and his wife, Carrie, started fostering in 2015. Today, he works closely with aging-out youth through Bridge to Brighter in Wisconsin. Nick has three biological children, two adoptive children, has fostered 15 children, and they just renewed their foster care license.
My hope is that you will benefit from hearing about the unique work that Nick does with aging out youth and connect with his experience as a foster parent. He has a generous heart, and I’m eager to share this episode with you!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/nick-sgarlata-172/
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Today on the podcast, we are talking about a special kind of care in the foster care community called kinship care. Kinship care is when children are cared for by grandparents, extended family members, or unrelated adults with whom they have a close family-like relationship.
Caregivers providing kinship care often face unique challenges and abrupt changes to their life plans. In addition to dealing with the circumstances leading to the need for kinship care, their lives are overhauled with the unexpected introduction of the child now in their care.
Sharing her experience with us is Rachel Mahnke, a Certified Wellness Coach, Trauma Informed Parent, Life Coach, Therapeutic Art Facilitator, author, and adoptive parent of her biological grandchildren. When life took an unexpected turn, Rachel went from a soon-to-be empty nester to providing kinship care to her two little grandchildren.
This episode holds so much wisdom and honesty, and I am eager to share it with you!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/rachel-mahnke-171/
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The LGBTQIA+ conversation has intersected with foster care heavily in recent years and it has prompted many people in the foster care community to have questions such as: How can we care for our LGBTQ+ kids as foster parents who hold to a traditional view of marriage? How should the Church come alongside LGBTQ+ foster parents who do not hold to the traditional view of marriage? And many more.
If you are unaware of what each of the letters stands for or haven’t seen the “IA” part of LGBTQIA+ here’s what each letter represents: L – lesbian, G – gay, B – bisexual, T – transgender, Q – queer, I – intersex, A – asexual. The “+” indicates many more that could be mentioned, but I’ll pause there for now.
I’m thrilled to have Laurie Krieg with me as we navigate this topic of sexuality and gender through the lens of the Gospel. Laurie identified a default to a same-sex attraction when she was starting at five years old. She wrestled with what this meant for her Christian faith throughout her young adult life. Laurie identifies as both a Christ-follower and a part of the LGBTQ+ community and has been on the front lines of the sexuality conversation since 2014.
Today, Laurie is the president of Impossible Ministries, a coaching ministry with the mission to equip the Church with a gospel-centered approach to marriage and sexuality. Laurie is also a coach, speaker, author, podcaster, mom to three, and has a mixed-orientation marriage with her husband, Matt.
This conversation is so important, and I want to encourage you to listen in!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/laurie-krieg-170/
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I love every time I get the opportunity to talk with Jenn Hook here on the ol’ podcast! Jenn has a deep passion for the adoptive and foster care communities. She is the Founder and Executive Director of Replanted—a ministry that helps empower the Church to support adoptive and foster families by providing emotional, tangible, and informational support.
Last time I spoke with Jenn, we discussed her first book, Replanted, and navigating reunification. In this episode, Jenn is back with a new book that builds on the foundation laid by her first book. In this new book, Thriving Families, Jenn provides resources for navigating the grief children in foster care feel, maintaining relationships with biological parents, preserving the cultural background of your child, and much more.
We’re diving into some of those same topics today, and I hope our conversation is a great encouragement to you this week!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jenn-hook-169/
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Do you have some hard questions when it comes to adoption and foster care? Maybe you’re unsure if you’re up to the challenge. Maybe you’re unsure how to best support a child in adjusting to their new circumstances. No matter what you’re facing, you’re not alone.
April Guffey is dedicated to being a resource for adoptive and foster parents, as well as the children in their care. April is an adoptee, former foster youth, and owner of Mercy and Healing, which is an adoption coaching practice. She has an incredible story of finding true wholeness through Christ and unexpectedly reconnecting with her biological father.
Through her own lived experiences as a former foster youth, April has seen the gap in services for adoptive parents and adoptees. Her passion is to fill that gap by providing a safe place to ask questions, vent, and gain new insight. Join me as April shares her story and wisdom today!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/april-guffey-168/
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I have a great episode for you this week. Children in foster care have so much going on beyond what we can see on the surface. But what is it that can sometimes cause our children to act out, rebel, or “push our buttons”? My guest today was not only a former foster child for over 7 years, but she also now works with parents to uncover how to better show up for their children, especially their teens.
Serena Rice is a Supervised Visitation Specialist, parenting coach, children’s book author, and former foster child. Her experience as a foster child influenced her to start her own coaching practice to help parents build deeper trust and strong connections with their children. In today’s episode, she shares her story of jumping from foster home to foster home, how parents can better communicate with teens in foster care, what her healing journey has looked like, and much more.
Whether you care for a teen in foster care or not, you don’t want to miss Serena’s story, perspective, and wisdom.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/serena-rice-167/
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TW: As part of John’s story and experience, you will hear specific descriptions and terms related to adult themes, including both physical and sexual child abuse, trafficking, and suicide. We do encourage discernment in your decision to listen or with whom you share this episode with.
I met John Gibson briefly at the Replanted Conference where he shared his story for the very first time. John is a former competition team member of Valko Brazilian Jiu-Juitsu in Chicago, IL. But at the age of just five years old, he was declared a ward of the state. After 11 homes and 2 group homes, John aged out of the foster care system. Through therapy, mentors, and lots of time, John is able to look back at everything he went through with positivity and hopefulness.
I am so grateful to John for his willingness to be open about his life experience, as well as his journey towards healing. Foster care is often a community filled with both hurt and hope, and John’s story is an honest testament to that reality. I hope his story provides valuable perspective for your own foster care journey!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/john-gibson-166/
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Life is full of seasons. Sometimes those seasons are filled with joy and laughter, but other times those seasons include sorrow, grief, and loss. These hard seasons may come from the unexpected loss of a loved one or a child no longer being a direct part of your family. Today's conversation is especially for those currently walking through unexpected grief or those who love someone walking through grief.
Joining me is Tim Challies. Tim is a pastor, author, and co-founder of Cruciform Press. He had to navigate loss and grief in his own life when he unexpectedly lost his college-aged son, Nick, in 2020. As a result of walking through his own season of grief, Tim shared his family’s journey in a book titled Seasons of Sorrow: The Pain of Loss and the Comfort of God.
I deeply appreciated Tim’s openness about his story and his firm confidence in who our God is. I believe you’ll receive a lot of truth from what he has to share today.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/tim-challies-165/
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It’s no secret that I love sharing stories of hope and healing. My guest today has an incredible story that includes both of those things! I met Peter at a conference recently and we quickly became friends. He is a surviving street kid, foster dad to over 18 kids, single adoptive dad, an author, speaker, and advocate for children everywhere. Wow!
Peter Mutabazi grew up in an abusive home in Uganda and eventually ran away at the age of 10. God used a man in khakis to show Peter that he was loved and valued. Today, Peter’s passion is that every child and young person, especially the forgotten, neglected, or abused, deserves to be celebrated, seen, heard, and known.
Show Notes: theforgotteninitiative.org/peter-mutabazi-164
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Even with Christmas morning already in our rearview mirrors, I love this time of year! Not only because of the holiday traditions, the smell of candles, our Christmas tree, and freshly baked pies in the oven. My love for this time of year is also not only because of the sounds of the Christmas music that fills my home, the crackling of the fire, or the old handmade-by-kids Christmas ornaments on the tree, but I love this time of year because it always makes me reflective. As I reflect, I can't help but see the Goodness and Faithfulness of God. What about you? How has God grown you this year? How has He shown Himself faithful?
I’m not sure what your year has looked like or what’s in store for the next. What I do know is that Christmas is good for the soul, reminding us each year of the goodness and kindness of our God in making a way for redemption.
Thank you for being on this journey with us, and we are so excited to be in this space TWICE as often. You are not alone!
As you may know, stepping in to support the foster care community can be messy sometimes. We are broken people stepping into broken situations. None of us are perfect, yet we are called to step into these situations anyway. My guest today has personal experience with this. Cynthia Yanof is a former attorney, foster mom, author, and host of the Pardon the Mess podcast.
When Cynthia and her husband felt the call to step into foster care, they had fears, the urge to cling to safety, and the feeling of being completely ill-equipped. Can you relate!? In spite of all their fears, they stepped out in faith and were amazed by how God provided for them on their journey.
In this episode, Cynthia shares her family’s experience of being called to foster, overcoming some common objections people have, and the values they have learned along the way. Cynthia is a dynamic bundle of energy and I know you will be blessed to hear her passion and perspective on foster care.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e13/
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It’s National Adoption Month! In honor of that, the podcast has been weekly this month to provide more opportunities for you to share episodes with friends who might not know as much about foster care or adoption in order to increase awareness. Let's spread the word!
I have a very special guest on the podcast today. He was adopted from Guatemala at just 10-months old and he just so happens to be my son. Hudson Kaeb (or “Huds” as I like to call him) is sharing today about his story of adoption, the feelings he carries toward his birth family, and how he has processed his own story as he has gotten older. This was a really special episode for me and I am so proud of him for his openness, growth, and maturity. Hudson has shared his story in the past and I know you will be just as blessed and encouraged to hear it today!
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Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e12/
It’s National Adoption Month! In honor of that, the podcast will be weekly this month to provide more opportunities for you to share episodes with friends who might not know as much about foster care or adoption in order to increase awareness. Let's spread the word!
As many of us know, not every family gets to be reunified. In fact, in just under half (48%) of cases are children reunified with their parents. How should we respond to that reality? My guest today is unique in that she was an adoptee and also a biological mother who experienced her own children being placed in foster care. Brittany Marler’s life was turned upside-down when her mother was killed, which eventually led to her adoption by her grandparents. In our conversation, she vulnerably shares with us her experience of growing up without her birth mother, the painful circumstances that led to her to prison and surrendering her children, and their foster parents who relentlessly pursued a relationship with her.
Though Brittany’s story up to this point is not one of reunification, it is one of restoration and healing. God is doing incredible things in her life, and I am so grateful for Brittany’s openness and willingness to share her story with us here on the podcast.
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Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e11/
It’s National Adoption Month! In honor of that, the podcast will be weekly this month to provide more opportunities for you to share episodes with friends who might not know as much about foster care or adoption in order to increase awareness. Let’s spread the word!
In the adoption and foster care community, we often encounter stories of brokenness and heartache. At the same time, we find stories of hope, healing, and God’s faithful purpose. For Maria “Mia” Arrington, God’s purpose and faithfulness were weaved throughout every part of her story, from being a child in foster care to an adoptee to today being a licensed social worker, therapist, wife, and mom to a beautiful daughter and stepson. In today’s episode, Mia openly shares her journey of entering foster care as a toddler, experiencing a disrupted adoption, living in a group home, eventually being adopted, and how she is using her story to spread hope and healing to others.
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Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e10/
It’s National Adoption Month! In honor of that, the podcast will be weekly this month to provide more opportunities for you to share episodes with friends who might not know as much about foster care or adoption in order to increase awareness. Let’s spread the word!
Once you become aware of the need within the foster care community, it’s hard to focus on anything else, right? For Jessica Hurlbut, that is exactly what happened when she adopted a sibling group from foster care in 2015. Once she became aware of the needs in the foster care community, she knew she needed to display to others how they can help. In fact, she founded a run that led to the amount of foster homes in her county doubling! In today’s episode, Jessica shares her journey of advocacy, how to push past the fluff and be real, what it’s been like to be a mother to five children, and much more.
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Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e9/
Today’s episode is a special one! Not long ago my team and I got to spend the weekend at Replanted Conference, a conference in Naperville, Illinois, that provides a time away for caregivers to be refreshed, equipped, and inspired. While there, I had the privilege of speaking at some breakout sessions and also doing a live recording for this podcast! I sat down with Jessie and Carrie, whose stories are connected and intertwined in powerful ways. This was a very inspiring conversation, and I'm glad I can share it with you today!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13replanted
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Joey & Sadie Dodson are about as involved in the foster care community as you can get! They are foster and adoptive parents themselves, Joey was adopted when he was a child, and Sadie is currently working as a Family Care Manager at a non-profit working with churches and families to foster and adopt. Sadie also leads various TBRI and trauma-informed trainings.
Join us as we have a conversation about how the desire to learn can help us be better equipped (not just as foster or adoptive parents, but as people), why it’s okay to feel like you are not fully equipped, how to look at the foster care journey through an attachment lens, and what it looks like to carry moment-by-moment dependence on God.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e8
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Foster care is full of confusing, and often conflicting, emotions. How do we handle those emotions? How do we prepare ourselves for hard transitions? And how do we champion reunification as often as we can? My guest today is no stranger to those feelings as both a foster parent and a case manager at an agency in Texas. In today’s conversation, Amanda Irby shares her experience fostering 10 children in a little over two years, how her perception of biological families has shifted, what a day in her life as an agency worker is like, how she’s been learning to say those hard goodbyes, and much more. I greatly appreciate her passion for this work, and for reunification specifically. Listen in!
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Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e7/
When we talk about breaking the cycle of trauma, there is no clearer example of this than in the life of DeAntwann “DJ” Johnson. DJ experienced a traumatic childhood that included child abuse, domestic abuse, homelessness, and emotional trauma. As a result of his family life, he entered the Indiana foster care system when he was about 10 years old. As DJ grew up in foster care and entered adulthood, he began to peel back the layers of his story to uncover cycles of trauma and embark on his own healing journey. In this episode, we talk about DJ’s story, how he is working to break generational cycles of trauma, how to cultivate empathy for others, and so much more. I loved this conversation and I know you will too!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e6/
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In the foster care community, we often encounter stories full of pain, hardship, trauma, and difficulties. With each story, we can’t help but consider that this isn’t how God intended life to be. Even so, God is faithful, just like He has been in the life of today’s guest, Sean Myers.
Sean, a pastor in Peoria, AZ, had a tough childhood. His parents struggled with drug addiction, and he experienced homelessness, foster care, instability, and more. In the midst of all the difficulty, God had a greater plan for him that included salvation, adoption, community, and a future full of hope.
In this episode, you’ll hear why the safety of what’s familiar is often more desirable for children in foster care, why the Church needs to be even more involved in supporting the foster care community, the importance of community in discipleship and growth, and so much more. This is one you don’t want to miss!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e5/
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Whatever your role is in the foster care community, your life looks different from the lives of many others. You have some unique values that guide your decisions and lean your heart toward the foster care community. In difficult times, being able to actually name those values is core to being able to cling to your passion and purpose in life.
My guest today is Beau Johnson, who is not only an expert in helping others find their motivation and purpose at The Table Group, a company led by Patrick Lencioni, but he has also been a foster parent for twelve years. In this episode, Beau helps us consider the importance of setting family values, some insights from his experience as a foster parent, and how the roles we have to fill can either fulfill or frustrate us.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e4/
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Imagine going from zero children to five children overnight. That’s the story you’ll hear today! When Kristal and Jared Black decided to start a family, they quickly realized that their path would be different than they expected it to be. While walking through infertility and then an expected adoption that ended unexpectedly, God was working in their hearts to overcome the fear of foster care and open them up to other possibilities. Little did they know that God would take them on a journey that was even crazier (and even better) than they could have expected! In this episode, listen in as Kristal shares her family’s journey, what she learned in a long season of waiting, how she and her husband have navigated such a big transition, and the work God did in her along the way.