As I walk this parenting journey, I grow more and more thankful for teachers who lean into my kids. The student-teacher relationship can be a sweet one. For some students, teachers may be their only trusted adult. Needless to say, the impact of a caring teacher has the potential to be huge. My guest, Amanda Van Allen, is one of those teachers that loves her students in big ways. So, when she saw not only one student’s educational needs, but a greater need as it related to family, she knew her own family could do more to care for this student. Today, we’re talking about jumping into the role of fictive kin—taking on the characteristics of a family relationship for a child in the foster care system. It’s a role that more teachers are being asked to consider, and Amanda had some incredible insights about what she learned from going from teacher to parent in a matter of days.
Sitting down to talk with Sandra Stanley this week was a privilege!
She and Andy have journeyed down this road of foster care for the past ten years and have so much wisdom to share because of it. Much like my own story, they became aware of the need to care for children in their own backyard, and this awareness led them to action. We see this all the time at TFI—awareness leads to action. Sandra shares that the road has been bumpy, filled with moments that have left their hearts both broken and encouraged. As foster parents, we come to this journey so hopeful, so ready to help and love, and yet when there is no margin— when the uncertainty overtakes you—it is easy to feel hopeless. Sandra offers hope in our conversation. We can create space in our lives so that we are not overtaken by this hopelessness. We can live and serve with joy.
In terms of foster care, Tori has experienced it all. Entering the system at age four; reuniting with her mom; seeing the effects of mental illness; entering the system again; moving to twelve placements; living in a group home; and finally making the decision to emancipate, Tori’s life is one of ups and downs. At moments, she wanted to be out of foster care, and at moments, it was the best option she had. Tori is real and raw and helps us learn what life in foster care is really like. We have much to learn.
Foster care begins with loss—a family broken, unable to be together. This reality weighs on biological parents who long to be reunited whether that’s a possibility or not, children who are trying to make sense of all that is happening, caseworkers who care deeply for both the biological and foster families on their caseloads, and foster families who struggle to know how to help the kiddos in their homes navigate this hard journey while also managing their own emotions. Loss feels anything but good. And yet, our guest, Trisha, an adoptee and adoptive mom, brings a message of hope to us. Rooted in the promises of God, we can mourn loss and see our grief as a gift.
Emily Schmidt opened the coffee shop of her dreams, a shop she called The Cracked Pot. People came to get quality coffee; they lingered; they built community. As a Christ-follower, though, she saw the potential for her shop to be used for something more. She learned about youth aging out of foster care and realized she could be part of their story. She could use her coffee shop for kingdom purposes. Emily’s story is an encouragement to reflect on what God has given each of us and a challenge to consider how we can use our time and resources for others.
A story of tragedy and hope, Mandy’s voice as a child who grew up in foster care is one we need to hear. Her earliest years were wrought with pain and fear, as she experienced loss in the hardest of circumstances. When she entered foster care, for the first time, she was given consistent access to a safe environment, and yet, the impact of her trauma lasted long after she arrived. Mandy shares the heartache of her beginning but also the healing that she experienced as she slowly began to trust the adults around her—adults who saw beyond her behaviors and loved her with fierce commitment.
Our guest, Tony Whitley, is no stranger to foster care. Once a child in foster care, now a foster parent and TFI Advocate, he’s seen the court process from many sides, and he’s not running from it. Tony helps shed new light on court and the players involved in the system. Today’s conversation will help you walk into court informed, knowing the purpose of the hearing you’re attending, and what your role is in the process. Use this as your launchpad as you navigate your way through the court system.
Puberty. It’s a time you may be dreading as a parent or caregiver, or maybe you’re currently walking this road with your pre-teen or teenager, and you need help! It doesn’t have to be scary. Our guest, Dr. Melody Aguayo, offers a wealth of knowledge that will help you navigate this stage of life. The changes that accompany this stage of life for our children with trauma histories can bring more challenges than other children face. There are significant differences that we, as parents, need to understand so we can support and educate our children well. Awareness is the first step, so let’s dive in!
If you’re thinking about jumping into foster parenting and are single, this episode is for you! You can do this. Our guest, Hallie Graves, shares practical insights to help you make that decision. If you’re not a single foster parent but know someone who is, you’ll learn how to come alongside your friend in a way that’s truly impactful. We need each other!
If you’re overwhelmed and feel like you can’t slow down, you need this episode. Denise Kendrick is a full–time working mom of nine kids, and she’s learned how to breathe in the middle of day to day life. It hasn’t been without trial and error, but she brings her lessons learned to encourage us. She’s developed systems that work for her and offers principles to help guide your thinking so you can set your own boundaries as well. Listen in if you want help from one mom who has been where you are.
Whether you’re just thinking about foster care or adoption and want to know what it’s really like or you’re in it and you need support, today’s guest, Mike Berry, offers a picture of the good, bad, and ugly. He’s passionate about sharing a realistic view of adoption and foster care, and he wants to answer your questions honestly. Listen in as we tackle a few of them, but then check out his new book, "Honestly Adoption," for answers to even more. Friends, we are in this together!
When Josh and Liz saw a need within their foster care community, they knew they had to do something about it. Instead of launching and fundraising for a new nonprofit, they joined up with The Forgotten Initiative (TFI), where they were equipped with all types of resources including a graphic designer, strategic planning sessions, and video calls with Advocates around the country, so they didn’t have to reinvent any wheels.
In this episode, Josh and Liz share more about the practical help TFI provides, but also what it’s like to be part of the TFI Family where Advocates are rooting for one another, willing to sit with one another in the hard, and always pointing one another towards loving God.
Opening your home to teenagers in foster care can feel scary. Not knowing what they’ve been through or how they will impact your family can stop you from stepping forward. Today’s guest, Colleen Smith, shares her passion for teens and helps us think practically about how to show them they are loved. If you have a teenager in your life or are considering welcoming one in, this is a must-listen episode!
When Kristy Sutton and her husband, Zach, became foster parents, they realized that life would never be the same. After finishing foster care training classes, they felt ready to enter this new role, but they quickly learned how unprepared they were…for almost everything! In today’s episode, you will gain insight into what the fostering journey looks like—the good, the bad, and the ugly—and glean wisdom from one who has walked this road before you. You are not in this alone!
As foster or adoptive parents, we often feel at a loss of how to help our kids process the complexity of emotions surrounding their birthparents. In today’s special edition episode, you will hear a message that our host, Jami Kaeb, gave to a group of foster and adoptive parents this past Spring at CAFO 2019 Summit. Listen in as Jami focuses on 3 areas: helping your child process their feelings about their birth parents, caring for and pursuing a relationship with your child’s birth parent, and creating and maintaining healthy boundaries.
Parenting is not for the faint of heart. Understanding how to best love, teach, and correct our children is something we are continually learning. Add to that, learning to parent kids who have experienced trauma, and things that may have worked for our biological children now seem to have the opposite effect on our kids. In today’s episode, Kristin Berry brings us practical insight and encouragement to help us parent our kids in a way that keep us connected.
The one certainty of foster care is there is no certainty. When plans change quickly, people get hurt, or you feel your heart breaking, it is easy and natural to fear. In today’s episode, Singer, Songwriter, Ellie Holcomb encourages us through words (and song too!) to hold on to Hope.
Ashley found herself caught in addiction after being first exposed to narcotic pain killers at the hospital. Because of this, her son was removed from her custody and put into foster care. Ashley’s story is one of brokenness and redemption. Today’s episode brings us the unique perspective of the birth parent.
Loving a child without knowing how long they will be with you or where they will go next is painful. It is easy to feel fearful and frustrated with this lack of control and it is especially challenging to continue on when you feel alone. In today’s episode, you will relate to Amber Reynolds as she shares her experiences as a foster parent. You will also gain insights about how you can support those around you and stay strong in your personal journey.
There are moments in life that change us forever. Pastor Tony Karnes was simply trying to prepare for a sermon series, but God had greater things in store for him AND for hundreds of kids and families in his community. Tony’s journey of faith will inspire and challenge you!
Foster care is a journey of love and loss, not only for the kids in care but for foster families too. In today’s episode, Kim Young of The Bair Foundation, helps us prepare for and process the hard goodbyes.
Foster parenting little ones presents unique challenges and joys, but what is it like to parent another parent? Jason Johnson shares his experiences and lessons learned in the journey of being a foster parent to teen moms (especially before ever raising teens himself!)
A child’s foster care journey begins with loss, loss of what they know, who they love, and all that is familiar. Grief follows right behind and exhibits itself in various ways. As a foster parent, you and those close to you are also well-acquainted with loss and grief as the very nature of your role is to love and let go. This is true of today’s guest, Natalie Brenner, who shares the hope she clings to when life is dark.
Are you a foster parent, serving and loving kids in your home, but are unable to quiet the nudge in your heart to do more? Today you will hear Wendy Carlton’s journey of quiet prayer to foster care and then foster care advocacy.You will learn ways you are needed to make a difference in the lives of children, too!