TW: This episode contains mentions of drug use, physical abuse, and sexual abuse. If these topics could be triggering for you or others, we wanted you to be aware of these topics before listening.
The trauma of our past can often define us and inform what we think and how we behave. This can create a cycle in which we are far more likely to repeat the mistakes of those who have gone before us.
As Darnella Miller was growing up, her mother was caught in a cycle of drug addiction, placing Darnella in many unsafe situations that led to multiple forms of abuse and eventually removal from her mother’s care.
Today, Darnella is the Founder and CEO of BornCovered, a program where she gets to use her personal journey through foster care, teenage parenthood, and aging out of the system to empower, support, and uplift young girls and youth facing similar challenges. A Brooklyn native, Darnella is deeply committed to her family. She is happily married, with three daughters and three bonus sons.
In this episode, you’ll hear the emotions children may experience when being placed in foster care, how Darnella has broken generational cycles, and how the system can offer valuable support.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/darnella-miller-249/
There can be a lot of pressure on foster parents to always step up and say “yes” to each placement. One of the reasons many became foster parents was to be able to make a significant difference, so doesn’t that mean accepting as many placements as you are able?
But what happens if you say “no” to a placement? What if you say “no” when a child in foster care is able to be adopted?
My guests, AJ and Katrina Nowaczyk, know what it feels like to have to say “no.” They have fostered nine children. While they didn’t set out to only foster, they learned a lot whenever the opportunity to adopt a child came up. In multiple cases, the circumstances pointed to needing to say “no.”
In this episode, you’ll learn what goes into saying yes and no, that there is no one-size-fits-all formula, and the importance of approaching each situation with prayer.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/prayerful-decisions/
In terms of foster care, my guest has experienced it all. She entered foster care at age four and then reunited with her mom only to be removed from her mother’s care again. In total, she had twelve placements, lived in a group home, and would finally make the decision to emancipate.
Tori Petersen is a bestselling author, national speaker, and Bible teacher. She shares her testimony and life as authentically as possible to help and offer hope to others. Tori is known for her fierce advocacy work for foster care, adoption, and vulnerable children. At home, she is a wife and mama, who deeply values family, community, and hospitality.
In this episode, Tori shares what life was like as a young child, the ups and downs of her life in foster care, positive aspects of her experience that made a lasting impact on her life, how she found hope for the future, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/foster-care-tori-petersen/
It's not as common that we get to hear the perspective and experience of biological parents in the foster care community, but it's such an important perspective for us to hear and understand.
My guest, Ashley, found herself caught in addiction after being exposed to narcotic painkillers during a hospital stay for several clots in her brain. When her drug use spiraled out of control, it led to her son being removed from her custody and put into foster care. Ashley’s story is one of brokenness but also one of redemption.
In this episode, you’ll hear about the circumstances that can lead to a child being removed, the unique perspective of a birth parent, the complexity of addiction, and the important role foster parents can play.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/birth-parent-perspective/
Parenting is not for the faint of heart. It takes work every day to understand how to best love our kids, teach them, and correct them. Add to that learning how to parent a child who has gone through trauma, and you realize you need a completely different set of tools. Strategies that may have worked for our biological children now seem to have the opposite effect on our kids.
Kristin Berry is the co-founder of The Resilient Caregiver (formerly The Honestly Adoption Company), an author, podcaster, as well as a foster and adoptive parent. She is passionate about helping caregivers learn how to reframe their perspective on their child’s trauma history and respond to behaviors with compassion and connection. Kristin and her husband, Mike, have fostered for nine years and have had 23 children come through their doors.
In this episode, Kristin gives practical insight into why traditional parenting doesn’t work for kids who have experienced trauma, how you can parent in a way that promotes connection, and how to take away the power of negative behaviors.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/kristin-berry-trauma-informed/
Have you wanted to foster or adopt but just don’t know if it’s the “right time?” My guest for this episode can relate! Jason Johnson and his wife knew they wanted to become foster parents, but were unsure when they should pursue it or how it might affect their biological children.
Jason is a speaker, writer, former pastor, and church planter who encourages families and equips church and organizational leaders on their foster care and adoption journeys. He is also the Director of Church Mobilization and Engagement with Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO). Jason has a deep passion for seeing the gospel catalyze a movement of foster care in the church around the world. Jason and his wife, Emily, are foster and adoptive parents who live in Texas with their four daughters.
In this episode, you’ll hear how Jason started his foster care journey, how to find the “perfect” time to foster or adopt, tips for navigating the concern of loving a child that might leave your family, and learn a new way to look at comments from strangers about your adoptive or foster family.
Whether you are currently a foster parent, are considering becoming one, or know someone who is, I know you will be encouraged by what Jason shares in this conversation!
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jason-johnson-perfect-time/
Does this sound familiar to you? The child in your care comes home from school and after having a snack and telling you about their day, you sit down to help them with their homework. In an instant, it’s like you have an entirely different child. They throw themselves on the floor in rage or even check out entirely at the mere mention of homework.
Or maybe you receive what feels like daily calls from their school updating you about something that happened during the day or asking you to come pick them up early.
These are just a couple of many scenarios you may find yourself in when caring for a child who has experienced trauma. It can feel like all the tactics you’ve learned or used in the past don’t work anymore. My guest today can relate!
Cherilyn Orr has a background in education spanning from the pre-school to university level along with extensive professional development in trauma-informed care. Launched out of her own need as a parent to help her children, Cherilyn developed the Stoplight Approach which simplifies complex brain science into a common language to transform relationships. She is a mother to many—three biological, four adopted, and multiple children through foster care.
In this episode, you’ll learn what is going on inside your child’s brain in these chaotic moments, what the Stoplight Approach is, and some practical tools for trauma-informed care to add to your toolbelt.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/cherilyn-orr-248/
What happens when a child ages out of foster care? In addition to processing the grief of what they’ve lost, children in this circumstance have to navigate the world as an adult sometimes completely on their own.
This is the story of my guest today. Jessica Cawthorn and her siblings were cared for by extended family after the death of her parents. But in the 9th Grade, Jessica formally entered foster care and aged out of the foster care system at 18 years old.
Today, Jessica works for the Administration of Children and Families and is a Texas CASA Board Member. She is married to her husband, Jonathan, and they have three children together—two through adoption and one by birth.
In this conversation, you’ll hear some of the circumstances that led to a failed adoption, how Jessica faced aging out on her own, and practical ways we can support children who are about to age out of care.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jessica-cawthorn-247/
“I may be single and fostering by myself, but I am far from alone.”
Community is a crucial aspect of anyone’s journey of becoming a foster parent as you navigate court dates, visitations, doctor’s appointments, school activities, big emotions, and more. When you’re a single foster parent, juggling all of those dynamics can be even more complex.
Emma Finton had a passion ever since she was young to become a foster parent, and ultimately became a licensed foster parent in November of 2022. She is currently providing care for two children. On top of that, she enjoys her work as a nanny.
In this episode, Emma shares how she knew it was the right time to become a foster parent, the challenges of being a single foster mom, tips she uses to manage the chaos, and the importance of having a supportive community around you.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/emma-finton-246/
At four years old, Sheena Wood was told that she had to make herself “adoptable.”
She had medical challenges with her eyesight, feeling lost and alone as she navigated the journey of foster care, moving from foster home to foster home throughout her early childhood. She felt rejected and didn’t know if anyone would want her or if she would be able to find a place to belong.
Today, Sheena is a mother of five, married to her college sweetheart, and serves in a church in Florida along with her husband, Josh.
In this episode, Sheena shares what it was like to experience foster care, how well-intentioned advice can go wrong, why our words matter as caregivers to children who have experienced trauma, and why “Amazing Grace” helped her feel truly seen.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/sheena-wood-245/
Regardless of our place in the foster care community, understanding who we are, who we belong to, and where our sense of security comes from is vital to our confidence in where we belong.
It is such an honor to have Trisha Priebe on the podcast. She’s an adoptee and adoptive mom who serves as the Sr. Communications Coordinator for Lifesong for Orphans. Trisha is also a speaker and writer who has published 16 books. She lives in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, where she is wife to her husband, Luke, and is mom to three.
In this episode, we explore why every adoptee’s experience is unique, how foster care and adoption teach us the complexity of love, why parenting any child is a leap of faith, and the importance of helping our children identify truth.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/trisha-priebe-244/
This week, I have a powerful story to share with you from a former foster child, adoptee, and advocate for human rights.
I am honored to introduce you to my guest, Dr. Mary Ann McMillan. She is a passionate advocate for foster youth and adoptees, whose advocacy is deeply personal because it’s inspired by her own experience as an adoptee who spent many years in foster care. Mary Ann serves as a professor and administrator at Jessup University in California and has previously served as a missionary in Ukraine and the Czech Republic, leading trainings in nearly 30 countries.
In this episode, you’ll hear Mary Ann’s personal experience in the foster care system, the importance of understanding and processing your past, the important role therapy has played in her story, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/mary-ann-mcmillan-243/
When foster care feels overwhelming, how do we hold on to hope? How do we define success? How do we find light when so much feels dark?
Nate and Kristen Crew are my guests on the podcast today. They have been married for almost 15 years and have 7 children – four adopted through foster care and three by birth. Rather than a specific “calling” to foster, they pursued foster care out of a desire to live out the basic commands in Scripture to care for those who are vulnerable. Nate is a pastor at CityLight Church in Virginia and together they love to encourage others through what God has taught them.
In this episode, you’ll hear how Nate and Kristen strive to live out their calling as Christians, the difference that reliance on God has made in their story, why it doesn’t require a “special moment” to start getting involved with foster care, how to hold on to hope when the journey is hard, and more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/nate-kristen-crew-242/
For teens (and for any child in foster care), how can we create spaces where they are safe, feel belonging, and develop their sense of independence? How can we give them involvement in the development of what that space looks like?
My guest today is a dear friend, Chandler James. Chandler used to be an Advocate Coach here at The Forgotten Initiative and today is the Director of Church Mobilization for The Riverside Project, a nonprofit dedicated to transforming the foster care system in Houston. Chandler and his wife, Caitlin, are foster parents and are currently supporting four teens, three of whom have aged out of foster care and one that they have permanency of.
In our conversation, you’ll hear helpful principles for creating a sense of belonging for children who have experienced trauma, the challenges they’ve experienced of supporting teens as young parents, how to communicate boundaries while providing independence, the importance of caring for teens in foster care, and so much more.
Find links to resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/chandler-james-241/
You may have seen us talking about our brand new podcast Just Neighbors. Well today, we're sharing one of those conversations right here on The Forgotten Podcast! This was such a powerful episode, with challenging and honest takeaways for those who follow Christ in our complex world.
Just Neighbors is a podcast for every believer who desires to live as Jesus lived – to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God and neighbor. My co-host, Ryan MacDonald, and I are joined by Dr. Krish Kandiah for this conversation about how to combine word and deed to provide belonging for our neighbors.
Krish is the founder of The Sanctuary Foundation, a charity supporting refugees to find welcome, work, and worthwhile housing in the UK. His mission is to help solve some of society’s seemingly intractable problems through partnerships across civil society, faith communities, government, and philanthropy.
In this episode, Krish helps us understand the important work they are doing, the largest challenges he sees for people who are removed from their homes, and how Christ followers should respond to the complex conflicts happening across our world. Beyond that, he guides us in seeing that displacement is happening all around us, as children are placed in foster care, people move to a new city for their jobs, and people feel like they don’t belong.
Listen in!
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/krish-kandiah-240/
During the month of June, applications to become a TFI Advocate are open! TFI Advocates bridge the gap between churches and agencies right in their local community. Get the details and apply right here.
Whether a child has experienced foster care or adoption, there is history and trauma to navigate. As you can imagine, this can spill over into eating habits, behavior issues, and affect children’s sleep. Many foster parents and caregivers experience the difficulty of seeking help from someone trained in both foster/adoptive backgrounds and sleep practices.
That was the case for my guest, Allison Ezell. When her first adopted son came home from China in 2016, she spent years unsuccessfully searching for sleep help that took into account his history. Today, she now gets to do for others what no one could do for her all those years ago: build a bridge between sleep science principles and trauma-informed care.
Allison is a Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant and a mom of four through birth, foster care, and international adoption. She has a special passion for working with foster and adoptive families who are navigating sleep issues with their children.
In this episode, you’ll learn how isolating dealing with sleep issues in children who have experienced trauma can be, the importance of setting realistic expectations based on a child’s history and biology, navigating bedtime with multiple children, and so much more.
Find resources and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/allison-ezell-239/
During the month of June, applications to become a TFI Advocate are open! TFI Advocates bridge the gap between churches and agencies right in their local community. Get the details and apply right here.
We cover many topics here on The Forgotten Podcast from how to know when to start fostering, real stories of people throughout the foster care community, how churches can get involved, and more.
But in this episode, we are talking about an aspect of foster parenting we don’t often address: What happens when you reach the end of the journey of active foster parenting? How do you know when you should be done fostering and begin providing wrap-around support?
My guest, Lisa Robertson, knows all about this journey as her family made the hard choice to stop fostering in October of 2023 after many years of active foster parenting. She has been a foster and adoptive parent and is the Executive Director for Hope Bridge, a non-profit that advocates for change in the Ohio foster care system by mobilizing churches and equipping communities to serve. Lisa has many years of experience in advocacy, biological family relationship preservation, and the preventative work of keeping families together.
It's never easy to let go of something that is so close to your heart. In this conversation, we discuss what questions foster parents should consider before closing their license, how to identify when it is time to stop fostering, the heaviest parts of letting go of such a large part of your life, the opportunities to still serve the foster care community after foster parenting, and much more.
Find links to resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/lisa-robertson-238/
Applications to become a TFI Advocate are open in June! TFI Advocates bridge the gap between churches and agencies right in their local community. Get the details and apply right here.
Foster care and baseball. On the surface, these two things don’t sound related at all, but my guest this week would beg to differ.
Emily Cole is the co-owner with her husband, Jesse, of the Savannah Bananas, a baseball team based in Savannah, Georgia. Their vision is to make baseball fun, put fans first, and always entertain.
In addition to owning and operating a baseball team, Emily and Jesse are also biological, foster, and adoptive parents. They even use their baseball platform to further impact the foster care community through their nonprofit, Bananas Foster. Emily is passionate about helping the foster care community by celebrating and advocating for those involved.
In this episode, you’ll hear how baseball and foster care collide in Emily’s life, a vision for the future of foster care, how vital it is to have your village established as a foster parent, and so much more!
Get links to resources and key takeaways in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/emily-cole-237/
Applications to become a TFI Advocate are open in June! TFI Advocates bridge the gap between churches and agencies right in their local community. Get the details and apply right here.
Court can be hard to understand and difficult to navigate for everyone involved. How does a case progress? Can a foster parent attend court dates for biological parents? Should they? Thankfully, I have an expert with me to help explain what happens at court from the lens of someone who is there every day–a judge.
I have the honor of speaking with Judge Brian Goldrick. He has been a part of the Child Protection Division of the court in McLean County for over 32 years. Judge Goldrick started in 1992 as an Assistant Public Defender, then served as the Contract Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) before becoming an Associate Circuit Judge.
In this episode, you’ll hear the process of a case through court, what rights foster parents have, how such weighty decisions are made, and much more. Listen in!
Get resources and takeaways in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/brian-goldrick-236/
Applications to become a TFI Advocate are opening in June! Get the details and sign-up to be notified when applications are live right here.
Today’s conversation made me a little emotional because I never could have imagined what God would do with this ministry when I launched it over a decade ago. I could have never imagined that we would have leaders across the nation who are stepping in and supporting their local foster care community! These Advocates act as a bridge, bringing encouragement and support to agencies by helping churches understand the best way to engage and meet needs contextually.
Today, I get the honor of introducing you to a couple of incredible people who are also team members here at The Forgotten Initiative: Jody Vanderburg and Liz Archambault. They serve in the role of Advocate Coaches, helping Advocates navigate the challenges specific to their area and bring their unique experience and personality to the role.
We are so grateful to have both of them on our team!
In this episode, you’ll hear how foster care intersected with each of their lives, what traits make an effective Advocate, the most meaningful parts about supporting local leaders as an Advocate Coach, and so much more!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jody-liz-235/
Can you remember the child, family, or experience that inspired you to become a part of the foster care community? It’s likely you were inspired because you heard their story or got to see their action firsthand.
With an understanding of the power of story and a passion for children who are waiting for their forever families, Kaycee Stanley and her husband, Pete, launched The Reel Hope Project.
The Reel Hope Project tells the stories of children awaiting an adoptive family using videos as a recruitment resource for prospective adoptive families. Their goal is to see an end to youth waiting for families by mobilizing the church to take action.
In this episode, you’ll hear how God has used these videos to inspire action, how the Church can make a difference for children waiting for families, how they are supporting agency workers in giving children a voice, and so much more!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/kaycee-stanley-234/
Check out our brand new podcast, Just Neighbors: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/just-neighbors-podcast/
You will often hear us say, “You don’t have to foster to care.” One of the most important aspects of foster parenting (without burning out) is having a supportive community of people around you.
I have the honor today of talking with someone in this critical support role. Maddie Box is 26 years old and works as a pediatric speech-language pathologist, and she has organically found herself in the role of a support person to multiple foster parents.
In this episode, you’ll hear how this role is far more critical than many people realize, some of the simple ways foster parents need support, the most practical way to offer help, and so much more.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/maddie-box-233/
Decisions made in court hold a lot of weight for the futures of children and families. Due to the impact that decision could potentially have, the role Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) was introduced to ensure all information was being considered.
The role of a CASA before began in 1977. Today, 939 state CASA/GAL organizations operate in 49 states, which serve 242,000 children annually. Travis and Stephanie Johnson are two of the dedicated volunteers who serve the foster care community in their role as CASAs.
In this episode, you’ll hear more about what it means to be a CASA, what the weekly responsibility often looks like, why Travis and Stephanie stepped into this role, and more valuable insights from their experience.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/travis-stephanie-johnson-232/
Give to The Forgotten Initiative: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/give/
Nobody starts working in the foster care system because they think it’s going to be easy.
The truth is, despite how deeply fulfilling a career in this field can be—it can also feel stressful and discouraging at times. For both new and experienced workers, it’s easy to feel defeated and wonder if the work you’re doing is enough.
If there’s anyone who can help us understand this better, it’s Carmen Nance—a woman with 30 years of experience serving the foster care community as part of the State of Georgia/Cobb County Department of Family and Children Services.
In this episode, Carmen shares the valuable insights she learned from interacting with people from every side of the foster care system, why a community of supportive peers is crucial for workers in the foster care community, what social workers wish people knew about the challenges and rewards of this role, and so much more.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/carmen-nance-231/
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If a child in the foster care system spent 18 years in the same home, you might assume that they developed a strong sense of belonging within the family. But unfortunately, this is not always the case.
When Tash Haynes was born, her biological mother was unable to raise a child due to a mental disability. Fortunately, Tash was taken in by a family—but after growing up in their house until she aged out of the foster care system, Tash felt that although her basic needs had been met, her emotional needs had not.
Today, Tash is a renowned content creator, a community builder, and a mother of three girls. She is beyond proud of the family and career she’s been able to build despite the obstacles life has thrown her way.
In this episode, Tash gets candid about why it’s crucial to make sure children in foster care feel a sense of belonging, how showing her own daughters love is helping to heal the little girl inside of her, how God’s redemptive character has been on display in her life, and so much more.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/tash-haynes-230/